Abide. Dwell. Hope. Love.

Shyness

Perhaps being shy is actually pride in disguise? 

Where one is too proud and fearful of being rejected?

Where one's pride gets in the way of being brave to do and say the right and necessary things?

Where your feelings of needing to stay introverted/in your comfort zone are more important than meeting the needs of others?

I gotta ponder over this. 

I don't like to read books

...but "A Praying Life" by Paul E. Miller is actually one book that I actually look forward to reading when I have the time at night. It speaks so honestly about our very human struggles with praying. And I'm only at a few dozen pages into the book! 

(This book was given to Hubby by his mentor, whose wife is sorta like my mentor too in the mothers group meeting I attend monthly. )

It's blowing in the wind

Kawasaki disease and wind patterns. Who would've guessed that there's a correlation?

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2014/05/140519-kawasaki-disease-japan-china-wind-science/

There could be a link to Candida too.

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/health/china-winds-could-carry/1112910.html

Imagine...

... If Jesus has not come to earth, how would the world look like now?

I can only imagine hopelessness. 

White Elephants

Don't waste time, money and energy on white elephants.

Discipleship

-Is a long journey

-Includes discipline, friendship, support, love

-Points people to God and His love

-Begins at home

I'm in an IDMC church and it took me so long to finally listen and then realise Jesus really did tell us to make disciples. The "of all nations" part I haven't really internalized yet but ya I know it's there. 

Discipleship is hard, hard work. 

Support and love, not judge and criticise

I ought to write this down so that I can remember better:

When we have Christian friends who are divorced, we should offer them love and support, and not mentally criticise and judge their decision. The papers have been signed. What can I do about it? Nothing much actually (yes besides the usual pray-for-miracle part). Just being there to offer support, friendship and encouragement is probably what they need. 

I have been guilty of preferring to judge than love, and that's really gotta change. 

Grandiosity

Mother's Day. Father's Day. Birthdays. Weddings. Wedding anniversaries. Baby showers (what the heck?!). Baby first month celebrations.

Now with social media, we can see what our friends do to celebrate these special occasions. How lavish. Or how simple. How extravagant. Or how ordinary.

Somehow I feel there is a certain show-off factor in those who are prone to grandiose celebrations. Of course, why not show the whole world how much effort, time, and money you have spent to make the event special? Share in the joy with others, right? Post it on FB! And then you have friends who might feel inspired to do a big rah-rah party for their one year old tot too because, hey, my baby shouldn't be deprived of the balloons, clown tricks, party packs and three-tiered Thomas the Train cake right? He might blame me if he were to compare with his friends years down the road.

I don't dig this showing-off nonsense. Commercialisation of precious family events is one thing. Falling for it is another. There certainly is pressure to keep up with the Joneses. I have to keep myself in check too. But if you have your values and priorities straightened out, what others do shouldn't matter. So I tell my kids, as long as we treat each other right, love each other daily, that is more important than having big celebrations with people whom we aren't even close (or know, for that matter!). Keep it simple. What about Mother's Day? Father's Day? Honour your father and mother. Love God. That warms us parents' hearts more than anything else, anytime. 

However, I must say a nice chocolate cake on ANY day can help me keep calm and carry on my mothering duties better sometimes. And an affogato. Especially when the kids sap the life out of me with their noise and naughtiness. Peace offering is welcome, kids. Ahahahahahah.

Shopping time

Things to buy for new house, which should be ready for key collection in a month or two (YAY!), with the estimated costs:

Furniture (beds, sofa, dining set) ~~$$8000

Curtains ~~$500

Fridge ~~$1000

Washing machine ~~$900

Dryer ~~$500

Dishwasher ~~$1300

Vacuum cleaner ~$800

Dishes ~$400

Pots ~~$250

Cutlery ~~$100

TV ~~$800

Knives ~~$100

Clocks ~~$50

Paintings ~~$150

Wall paint ~~$1600

Shoe rack ~~$150

To be continued...

Thinking better

Some people can just share whatever's on their mind through normal conversation or sharing.

Me? I realize I clam up easily and tend to think more than I speak especially in group situations. I think better through writing. My thoughts come out more easily and freely.

Yeah that explains why people who are not close to me think that I'm a quiet person.

By nature, yes, I am a quiet person. It's just that these folks don't know the thoughts that are in my brain, being processed, held back, retrained, weighed through. Many thoughts. Sometimes I try to shut my mouth before nasty/nonsense/stupid words leak out. When it does come out, it means it's too late. So I don't like that. 

I only can be free to talk freely (I.e. nonsense) with my immediate family. And my bunch of close friends. If not, ya most people don't hear much from me. I can share more online though. Comments, posts, blogs... I prefer to write out my thoughts. They are usually deliberated first, so i feel safer that I can edit my opinions before they come out of my "mouth", which in the virtual sense means what I've written online. 

Just rambling la. 

--

I just had my first affogato yesterday. OH MY. Ice cream plus espresso coffee. Best combi in the whole world!

No mother should ever have to bury her own child

Long ago, when I was pregnant with my firstborn, Hubby and I attended a parenting course organised by our church. The facilitators/mentors were a married couple. They then had four kids already and their youngest was still a baby. Nonetheless they served, despite their busy doctor careers and four kids. They were kind, encouraging and godly. Patient and helpful.

This couple went on to have more babies while we had more of our own too. ;) As it stands, we have four and they have 8!

But yesterday, they just lost one of their kids. The baby was born with a genetic disorder. Despite the odds, the baby survived the pregnancy, childbirth, and even babyhood. But yesterday, the child was gone. A friend says her quality of life would have gone worse had she continued living on earth. So God in His mercy brought her home. No more pain. No more abnormality. Safe, healthy and now perfect in the arms of Jesus.

But the grief of losing your own child... I cannot imagine. I have nothing to say. Praying for God's peace upon their family.