Poor to be rich

While richer friends get their countless luxury items without batting an eyelid, go on overseas holidays every half year, buy a new car without worrying about their bank account, or throw extravagant parties for their kids...

I chose to give them all up. Or rather, my Hubby and I chose together.

We chose to be poorer, to be richer.

It is tougher and less glamorous, and it is always VERY tempting for me to go back to work to feel more comfortable.

But for now, I will stay home. To be the mom that I am called to be.

Being a friend

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.  - Proverbs 17:17

Been contemplating what being a true friend really means.

Of all the friends I have, those whom I can be very real to, and not have to put a "I'm doing ok" front, can talk crap or my honest thoughts without feeling that I'm being judged... These are my real friends. They love me and accept me for who I am, quirks, struggles, weaknesses and all. In turn, I get to see my friends for who they really are too, and though sometimes we have different opinions on things, yet we try to see and understand each other's point of views, and still love and enjoy each other's company greatly and fondly.

My closest friends are but a few, and they will be there for me, even when I'm stagnating or not growing. Instead they keep cheering me on, listening, praying and encouraging. I don't feel judged by them, and I always feel safe with them. I guess I feel safe because I know that they really love me, warts and all. 

I realize they have shown what it means to be a faithful friend. They love me at all times. They are examples of Christ's love, and for that I am grateful. Jesus did not demand us to clean up our act before we could be His friend. He chose us to be His friends, and made us clean through the cross. His love is faithful and kind, even when we have not been to Him and others.

With this in mind, I have been thinking of how I love my friends and family. Will I still love them even when they become unkind, unspiritual, unloving? Will I abandon the friendship or keep a distance from the family member when I see no change in them? Obviously I should not. And obviously I've got to make more effort to help them know that when the going gets tough, I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to stay, just like my faithful friends, just like Jesus. 

Motherhood

Is so tough.

Multiply that by 4. 

I wish I had more time for each kid, so that I can control their behavior, manners, studies and spiritual growth better. I'm sure I'll do a better job of controlling each of my kids if only they were my only kid! I'll cheer the single child better, I'll chill out with the kid more, I'll coach him/her in her studies everyday, I'll pray over every problem with the kid so much more. I'll hug more, scold less, cook better, sleep better, look better. I'll always be there for that single kid. But then again, I might return to work, after all, it's only one kid, and the pri sch age kid would be busy with sch from 7am to 2 or 4pm and there'll be no one at home who'd need me for this half of the day. Working means we get more money to indulge in the kid, go for more holidays overseas, buying nicer books, clothes and toys without worries. 

But having to let go and let God because I have many kids, and because of that, I have comparably greater lack of time and energy for each kid, means having to trust God more and relying more on Him--to come to their rescue, to watch over them, to grow them well, to really let Him be their God. 

Motherhood is a faith journey. Very very tough. But with Christ in the vessel, I believe I can laugh at the days to come. :)