Just like a Father's love

Last night, as I lay in bed and was pondering over what had happened as mentioned in my previous post (on God helping me to keep my promise to Him despite me wilingly, purposely wanting to break it), it dawned upon me, deep in my heart that, "Wow, God loves me. He loves me enough to step in even when I go against Him, even in the littlest of things like giving in to my temptation of buying unnecessary clothes. I wanted to break my promise, but He cared enough to help me out and to let me know that He's always there for me, guiding me, stopping me should I veer towards the wrong path." It was like Psalm 23 made real! I felt God's tender, fatherly love.  It has been a while since I last felt that. 

Many times I know in my head that yes, God loves me. He loves me to send His Son, Jesus, to die for my sins. A lot of head knowledge, but not often the heartfelt, emotional resonance that ought to accompany the head knowledge. So last night was one of the rare moments of realising in my heart that God truly loves me, and that His undeserved grace for me is real. 

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. -2 Corinthians 12:9

Promise keeping

So I promised God that I'd spend less money and time in buying stuff online during church camp and invest more time in my family and God's Word.

(Buying stuff online requires time to browse through pages after pages of items. I do that often after getting bored from browsing through too much inane social media posts.)

And then Zalora gave me this discount code for VIPs that was an almost storewide 23% discount. I was thinking, okay, after this purchase of 2 Mango tops, I'll stop. It's just $43! No big deal! Lo and behold, I could not process my order! I tried twice! First time I somehow keyed in the wrong email account and I didn't want to proceed with that account. Then I tried with the more often-used email account with Zalora, re-clicked my order, hesitated for a few hours, and then tried processing my order last night, and my goodness I could not log in! My password was wrong! I never had problems with processing my Zalora orders. I have ordered multiple times for the past couple of years!

There and then I knew God's hand was there, stopping my impulse buying and promise breaking. He truly knows my weaknesses, and He'd even helping me to keep my promise! 

So Internet, here I am to declare: no more buying Zalora, Old Navy or Gap stuff online for the next few months. No matter how big the discount (ARGH!), no matter how little the order might cost. It's about the heart. Training my heart. 

Being rational

That's me. I may be emotional at times but at the end of the day, if something makes sense, is the rational thing to do, I'm in. 

The good part is yes, i make logical choices often. Blame my philosophy training for that. By nature I've always been like that actually. But the bad part is sometimes when it comes to making decisions, I might just lack the child-like faith and attitude. I forget to lean on God for help in making the right decisions. Sometimes it's not whether I've made the RIGHT decision or not (because God is sovereign over everything!) but HOW I made that decision that matters. Did I ask God? Seek Him as my Abba Father? Or did I just look at things rationally, made decisions with whatever variables that are best in my control?

Oh how often I try to do things myself and fail miserably! 

Today's sermon in church reminds me that I am never good enough. I can't lean on my own abilities. But God is MORE THAN ENOUGH! I can't, but HE CAN! 

Our God is greater than our hearts and weaknesses. 

Our God desires to answer our prayers and give us the Holy Spirit.

(Thank you, Ps Andy for today's message.)

Fruits or roots

Sometimes after investing time and energy into another person's life, you might get to see the fruit of your labour. But yet there are also many times when you yield no fruit.

Perhaps it isn't time yet. Perhaps that person is growing deeper and stronger roots for a firmer foundation.

We survived church camp! And this is what I've learnt...

What did I learn?

-That God made my kids just they way they are and I should accept them as they are, instead of being resentful. More cheeky? More talkative? More active? Accept them, and discipline and discipline them accordingly when needed. They each have their own God-given destiny. 

(This was after a friend shared with me about what her second son went thru as a baby. Deafness, potentially brain damage, multi-organ under development. Hospital visits were a weekly affair. Her son miraculously got healed and could hear after 2 yrs. He has gone thru much as young child and he's now got a strong will, i.e. quite stubborn! But she believes he has a different destiny. After hearing her story, I felt like such a twat for whining about my naughty, strong-willed super-active toddler. I should really accept him and embrace his uniqueness instead of comparing him with my easier-to-manage older 3 kids!)

-The joy of the Lord can really be my strength. I was ill. Very congested nose, fever just subsided the night before we left for the camp, and I couldn't smell a thing. Not fun. But somehow God's joy gave me strength. Focusing on Him and His goodness, instead of my misery, helped heaps. 

-Anger IS murder, or rather, being angry with/hatred for another person is anger. It is the subtlest form of idolatry. Anger management doesn't work. Surrender your anger to God. Jesus had to die for it.  Anger is our idolatrous attempt to control people for our own glory. It is God who chooses our neighbour, not us. He puts certain people along our way to love them. We are at our most ugly when we don't love those whom God has appointed as our neighbour.

-Love our LGBT friends and family members. Don't let them suffer or struggle alone. Don't let the first thing we do be judgement and condemnation. 

-Jesus warns us against greed. Materialism: Futility of greed as a lifestyle. Life becomes a series of accumulations. BUY->HOARD->TRASH. It's not what we do with money but what money does to us that matters. Our visual obsession will soon become our heart's obsession. Matthew 6:22,23. We can be physically/humanly sighted BUT spiritually blind. 

-Spend MORE time with family. LOVE them more. PRAY for them more.

-Be online less. Buy less. Worry less. 

Next week

We'll be at Kuantan. For this! : http://www.cefc.org.sg/index.php/camp2014

Just say it

A lighted candle that is all covered up and hidden is useless.

An unread book is just another object that takes up space on the table.

An unread love letter is just another piece of paper.

An unspoken message is as good as having none.

Just do it

"Being a Christian is less about cautiously avoiding sin than courageously and actively doing God's will". - Dietrich Bonhoeffer