Motherhood

Is so tough.

Multiply that by 4. 

I wish I had more time for each kid, so that I can control their behavior, manners, studies and spiritual growth better. I'm sure I'll do a better job of controlling each of my kids if only they were my only kid! I'll cheer the single child better, I'll chill out with the kid more, I'll coach him/her in her studies everyday, I'll pray over every problem with the kid so much more. I'll hug more, scold less, cook better, sleep better, look better. I'll always be there for that single kid. But then again, I might return to work, after all, it's only one kid, and the pri sch age kid would be busy with sch from 7am to 2 or 4pm and there'll be no one at home who'd need me for this half of the day. Working means we get more money to indulge in the kid, go for more holidays overseas, buying nicer books, clothes and toys without worries. 

But having to let go and let God because I have many kids, and because of that, I have comparably greater lack of time and energy for each kid, means having to trust God more and relying more on Him--to come to their rescue, to watch over them, to grow them well, to really let Him be their God. 

Motherhood is a faith journey. Very very tough. But with Christ in the vessel, I believe I can laugh at the days to come. :)